Because I’m putting off cleaning the toilet, but also feeling guilty for all of the Robert Pattinson interviews I’ve just watched online, I’m going to fill you in on a few books that I’ve read in the past few weeks. You also might be waiting for a little squirt to arrive on your doorstep courtesy of The Great Stork of Yore, so these books might help to keep you occupied.

Free-Range Kids, How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry) by Lenore Skenazy – I don’t really foresee reading a ton of parenting books over the next few years, which you might think is completely arrogant and crazy. But while I don’t have a clue what to do with your child sitting over there, I am fairly confident that raising my own kids is going to come pretty naturally. I have a strong instinct that I intend to listen to, and I’m married to someone who is pretty well-educated about childhood development. I also have been really blessed with having parents and inlaws that did a pretty darned good job of raising their kids, and I figure if I try to do most things the way they did I can’t screw it up too badly.

With all of that in mind, I was really interested in reading Free-Range Kids because I’ve read Lenore’s blog, and much of her emphasis is on old-school parenting. IE: Did our parents raise us to be serial killers? No. So what’s so very wrong with how we were parented? She’s against the helicopter parenting that is so prevalent these days, and really the takeaway from the book is to just let your kids get outside and run around a little more.

I was encouraged by her logical approach to TRUE crime statistics, and think I’ll probably try to raise Penny Cate to be a “free-range kid” as much as I can. Overall, I give the book a B+.

Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer – You knew it was coming. My dear friend Kiki gave me the first book when she was down visiting over Memorial Day weekend, and as soon as I started I couldn’t put it down. Then I went to Borders and picked up the next one, read it in a day, and headed to Kroger that evening to pick up Eclipse. I now understand the phenomenon.

People like these books for different reasons, some because they are into vampires and werewolves, others because they are hormonal teenagers who enjoy reading about other hormonal teenagers kissing. And then there are those of us who can totally relate to falling in love with someone who is completely out of their league, and it just doesn’t make sense that that person is returning the affection. I’ve decided that’s why I dig these books so much. They remind me of the year that I dated Matt before we got married. The year that he was THE Matt Hofmann in my mind. The year before he started burping at the dinner table and leaving his dirty socks on the bedroom floor.

The books themselves really don’t deserve a rating of anything more than a C+, which is fine by me because in college I was more than happy with the C’s I earned – too busy socializing to attend class or study. If you are a person who enjoyed college for the same reasons and can appreciate things that are fun for the sake of being fun, you will enjoy the Twilight books. You’d probably also enjoy them if you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Also, Robert Pattinson is hot.

The Art of Dying: Living Fully into the Life to Come by Rob Moll - Yes. Really. I’m following Twilight with my brother in law’s new release. Because they couldn’t be more different.

I like this book, and not just because my brother in law slaved over it for the past few years. I just really like anyone who has the guts to talk about things that people, for the most part, are loathe to discuss. And death is one of those things.

At age 27, I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about my own death, although I have experienced plenty of loss in my lifetime. This book helped me process through some of that loss and also to consider how to daily live with my mortality in mind. I don’t really know what else to say other than that you should read it yourself. I give the book a B+, mainly because it’s Rob’s first book and he’s gotta have room to go up, right?

We Are Doomed: Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism by John Derbyshire - I’m only halfway through this book, but I can’t put it down. John Derbyshire cracks me the heck up. Matt asked my mom for this book for Christmas, and after reading it told me that I HAD to read it next. So I am. And I just bought it for my dad for Father’s Day because it’s just that funny. Plus Derbyshire quotes from Albion’s Seed which my dad loves.

Those of you who know me in real life know that I’m, for all intents and purposes, a Libertarian. But my biggest beef with Libertarian politics is the same beef I have with Liberal politics (and actually the current wave of Conservatism too!) and that is an unrealistic Utopian optimism. That mankind is just inherently good enough to improve life for others, or to live and let live. Nice in theory, but fails in practice.

John Derbyshire takes a very practical, yet humorous pessimistic stance and explains why he feels that’s the best approach, and furthermore why the Right should head back to its pessimistic roots. So much of what he says flips my brain upside down, and with his addition of humor the book is quite enjoyable to read. I very much would appreciate if one of my more open-minded liberal friends would read this book so that I could have someone on the other side of the table to bounce my thoughts off of. Anyone? Anyone? I give Derbyshire a solid A on this one.

I don’t have anything else lined up after We Are Doomed, other than to read the fourth Twilight book which I refuse to buy since it’s only out on hardcover. But frankly I’m hoping Penelope arrives before I get to that point bringing my reading to a screeching halt. Or at least exchanging adult books for the much more preferable Dr. Seuss.

Expertise is a funny thing. You can gain it from the school of hard knocks or from years of continuous education. I don’t know where I got my instinct to trust expertise, but 9 times out of 10 I will trust the guy with the experience or the degrees over the armchair observer. I may enjoy being a contrarian, but what are my hunches if I have no research to support them?

I was talking on the phone a couple weeks ago with one of my former bosses who had a lot of practical experience with reputable organizations and also claimed an Ivy League education. She was smart. Smarter than most people. And one of the things that made her such an awesome boss was the way she trusted me to do that which I knew about. I knew more about websites than she did, and she let me just do my thing. She’d ask me for advice, and she’d take my advice. She respected my expertise, and you know what? I really respect that she respected it. I went on to realize that this is a pretty rare trait – trusting other people who know more about something than you do.

Why is it that we all think we know everything best? We all think we’re experts at every field of life. And we really really don’t like taking advice from “experts.” I bet you’re wondering why I’m going on about all of this. It’s because in the circle of motherhood there’s this weird vibe that a mother’s instinct is always best. That moms will just inherently know what is right for their children. And they question teachers and doctors and grandparents and people with way more experience or degrees than them. BECAUSE THERE A MOM, DAGGONIT!

Listen, I’m all about questioning the status quo to find improvements. I became a moderate Libertarian because I think the other two options suck. I’ll go ahead and boldly state that I believe ALL women should start trending back towards the healthcare model of midwifery, and that OBs should be around for complications and specialization. Having babies is not akin to having cancer. But you know what else? I also think that your kids teacher has a degree and a state certification for a reason. And yeah, there are plenty of sucky teachers out there. But ya know what? There are pretty sucky content management systems out there. Doesn’t mean you should build your own. Why not try to find a good one to use?

All of this to say that I am realizing I don’t want to be the mother who doesn’t take advice from the Behavioral Analyst who comes to my house with a proven methodology to potty train my kid. I want to be the mother who does my research to find the best Behavioral Analyst from the best company in the country to come and potty train my kid. Because that person straight up knows more than I do. Sure, I want to trust some of my instinct, but why reinvent the wheel?

I am a lucky woman because I have two sisters (and a mom!) who have gone before me and raised their kids really really well. Sure, I’ll do a few things differently (like not driving a minivan! ), but goshdarnit, if I can follow their advice and have Penny turn out half as good as their kids, I will be one proud mama. And then I have some dear friends, the cloth diaper sage, the expert on getting your kid to eat anything, the mom whose child plays really well with others, and the girl who sleep-trained her kid into the third dimension. And of course the husband who can stop self-injurious behavior in the kids with the most intense diagnoses. These people, along with my trusty midwives, my pediatrician, and the teachers at the school that we will eventually find for Penny after agonizing research, they will be my experts, and I will need to trust them.

Of course, if you have a PhD in psychology but your kid is in juvie, I’m liable to ignore much of what you say.

And on that note, sleeping patterns: nature vs. nurture. If you have a great sleeper, did you sleep train them into it, or do you think it’s just in their genes?

I’ve just finished reading Sam Walton: Made In America, which I purchased at Goodwill for $1. Let me tell you – BEST BUCK I’VE EVER SPENT. I literally couldn’t put it down. Perhaps that makes me pathetic, or perhaps that makes me my father’s daughter.

Say what you will about the fall of Wal-Mart, it’s trade practices or ethics, while Walton was at the helm, great things were accomplished, and he was one of the greatest entrepreneurs of the 20th century. The book gave me incredible insight into his personality and management style, much of which I believe is due great respect.

A compilation of a few quotes from the book that struck me. It may be lengthy, but well worth your time.

On incentivizing employees and creating repeat customers:

The more you share profits with your associates – whether it’s in salaries or incentives or bonuses or stock discounts – the more profit will accrue to the company. Why? Because the way management treats the associates is exactly how the associates will then treat the customers. And if the associates treat the customers well, the customers will return again and again, and that is where the real profit in this business lies, not in trying to drag strangers into your stores for one time purchases based on splashy sales or expensive advertising.

On the adverse effects of unions, and the benefits of strong communication and adept management:

But historically, as unions have developed in this country, they have mostly just been divisive. They have put management on one side of the fence, employees on the other, and themselves in the middle as almost a separate business, one that depends on division between the other two camps. And divisiveness, by breaking down direct communication, makes it harder to take care of customers, to be competitive, and to gain market share.

On the other hand, let me say this: anytime we have ever had real trouble or the serious possibility of a union coming into the company, it has been because management has failed, because we have not listened to our associates, or because we have mistreated them. I think anytime the employees at a company say they need a union, it’s because management has done a lousy job of managing and working with their people. Usually, it’s directly traceable to what’s going on at the line supervisor level – something stupid that some supervisor does, or something good he or she doesn’t do.

On businesses resting on their laurels:

If American business is going to prevail, and be competitive, we’re going to have to get accustomed to the idea that business conditions change, and that survivors have to adapt to those changing conditions. Business is a competitive endeavor, and job security lasts only as long as the customer is satisfied. Nobody owes anybody else a living.

Many people in this business are still trying to charge whatever the traffic will bear, and they’re simply on the wrong track. I’ll tell you this: those companies out there who aren’t thinking about the customer and focusing on the customer’s interest are just going to get lost in the shuffle- if they haven’t already. Those who get greedy are going to get left in the dust.

On ethical free markets:

You start with a given: free enterprise is the engine of our society; communism is pretty much down the drain and proven so; and there doesn’t appear to be anything else that can compare to a free society based on a market economy. Nothing can touch that system – not unless leadership and management get selfish or lazy. In the future, free enterprise is going to have to be done well – which means it benefits the workers, the stockholders, the communities, and, of course, management, which must adopt a philosophy of servant leadership.

Recently, I don’t think there’s any doubt that a lot of American management has bent over too far toward taking care of itself first, and worrying about everybody else later. The Japanese are right on this point: you can’t create a team spirit when the situation is so one sided, when management gets so much and workers get so little of the pie. Some of these salaries I see out there are completely out of line, and everybody knows it. It’s obvious that most companies would be much better served by basing managers’ pay on the performance of the company or return on investment to the shareholders or some yardstick which clearly takes into account how well they’re doing their job. And the formula has to make sure that profits are divided fairly among workers, management, and stockholders, according to their contributions and risks. At Wal-Mart we’ve always paid our executives less than industry standards, sometimes maybe too much less. But we’ve always rewarded them with stock bonuses and other incentives related directly to the performance of the company. It’s no coincidence that the company has done really well, and so have they.

Now this is just incredible. Note that Walton wrote the book in 1992 – YEARS before the collapse of the American auto industry. His foresight was truly tremendous:

Our auto industry doesn’t play on level ground. But I don’t think we should counter with protectionism because it doesn’t address the real problem: the quality of our product doesn’t compete with that of the Japanese, whether we want to admit it or not. The challenge is a great one for management. What they have to do is build a partnership with their people.

I understand that this industry has all kinds of problems we haven’t seen in ours. I know that US auto workers make $22 an hour versus $16 in Japan, and that Mexican auto workers earn much less. I’m not saying I could solve all these problems, but I’d love to have the fun of trying to take a unionized company today and sell its people on the idea of having to be competitive globally – whether it was in autos, or steel, or electronics. I’d love a chance at that, the pleasure of seeing if they could be motivated into a team that would share in all the company’s success – and still have a union. It would take a powerful lot of persuading to pull this off, but I guarantee that it could be accomplished by somebody obsessed and persistent enough. But if American management is going to say to their workers that we’re all in this together, they’re going to have to stop this foolishness of paying themselves $3 million and $4 million bonuses every year and riding around everywhere in limos and corporate jets like they’re so much better than everybody else.

I’m not saying every company should necessarily be as chintzy as Wal-Mart. Everybody’s not in the discount business, consumed by trying to save every possible dollar for their customers. But I wonder if a lot of these companies wouldn’t do just as well if their executives lived a little more like real folks. A lot of people think it’s crazy of me to fly coach whenever I go on a commercial flight, and maybe I do overdo it a little bit. But I feel like it’s up to me as a leader to set an example. It’s not fair for me to ride one way and ask everybody else to ride another way. The minute you do that, you start building resentment and your whole team idea starts to strain at the seams.

All in all I found Sam Walton to be an inspirational business figure who worked harder than most people, and tried to run an ethical business. I’m glad Sam’s not around to see what his companies are up to these days…

Because I can barely breathe from my dreadful allergies, and I didn’t sleep at all last night, I’m pointing you over to one of my new favorite bloggers who can do some talking for me. Dana Loesch can be found on her blog, Mamalogues, and is also one of the vloggers from Momversation. Not only is she a do-everything mama, but she’s also a conservative talk show host and blogger. Lately I’ve been really digging what she has to say, especially about Healthcare Reform.

Does that get me off the hook? Because I’m pretty sure my head is floating in outerspace somewhere.

So everybody is yacking about Sanford, and I feel the need to give my two cents. Unfortunately, the few minutes of TV that I’ve seen have been devoted to this issue, and few of them point to the real problem – the fact that he lied to the people of the state of South Carolina, and put the order of state in jeopardy. I think we all should be stuck in the craw over that.

But whether it’s this governor, another senator, or the President of the United States, why do we as Americans care so much about what our elected leaders do in the sack? (And really, an Argentine? Trust me… I’ve seen these people and they’re illicit affair material!)

Not that I’m condoning infidelity in any way. But I just can’t understand why Americans judge politicians by how they look, speak and sleep rather than concerning themselves with the ISSUES at stake? We are so easily swooned by a handsome, smooth gentleman who is faithful to his wife, but we forget the Washingtons, Lincolns and FDRs of the past who were flat out hideous, yet drastically altered the course of history by the sheer politics that they practiced.

I also argue that one’s personal life has very little to do with what kind of political leader they are, Bill Clinton included. Personally, I’m more concerned about their voting history. And what they’re doing to keep inflation down.

Can we please leave all this garbage with the wives and families who are unfortunate enough to be completely devestated by it? And get on with things like GLOBAL WARMING? AND OUR RECESSION????

I really want to write my thoughts on her. I really do. And two days ago, before her speech and in the midst of all of the controversy about her and her family and her child with Downs, I was heated up and passionate and had lots of opinions on the matter. Plus, someone said something pretty nasty to me that day that cut to the quick, so I was feeling very defensive which is the perfect time to write controversial things on your blog. NOT.

As I tell everyone that I meet who asks me about my political leanings, I only care about two things – the economy and the environment. If you want to talk about social justice, go talk to my husband. No seriously, I really don’t care about that stuff. Never have.

It doesn’t make me a bad person. There are plenty of other things that make me a bad person, believe me. But just because I don’t care about education or healthcare or gay marriage, doesn’t make me bad. It means I have to prioritize the time and energy I spend on everything in my life, and I put the economy and the environment at the top.

There are two things that I dream will define my generation. I dream that we will FINALLY become a fiscally responsible nation. And I dream that we will make sustainable living economically viable and enticing.

And as for Sarah Palin, I’m not going to tell her she can’t be in national executive leadership while also being a really good mom, because I think that’s bull. But if I do meet her, I’m going to beg and plead with her not to drill right next to those poor little polar bears who need our love and protection!