Because I’m putting off cleaning the toilet, but also feeling guilty for all of the Robert Pattinson interviews I’ve just watched online, I’m going to fill you in on a few books that I’ve read in the past few weeks. You also might be waiting for a little squirt to arrive on your doorstep courtesy of The Great Stork of Yore, so these books might help to keep you occupied.

Free-Range Kids, How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry) by Lenore Skenazy – I don’t really foresee reading a ton of parenting books over the next few years, which you might think is completely arrogant and crazy. But while I don’t have a clue what to do with your child sitting over there, I am fairly confident that raising my own kids is going to come pretty naturally. I have a strong instinct that I intend to listen to, and I’m married to someone who is pretty well-educated about childhood development. I also have been really blessed with having parents and inlaws that did a pretty darned good job of raising their kids, and I figure if I try to do most things the way they did I can’t screw it up too badly.

With all of that in mind, I was really interested in reading Free-Range Kids because I’ve read Lenore’s blog, and much of her emphasis is on old-school parenting. IE: Did our parents raise us to be serial killers? No. So what’s so very wrong with how we were parented? She’s against the helicopter parenting that is so prevalent these days, and really the takeaway from the book is to just let your kids get outside and run around a little more.

I was encouraged by her logical approach to TRUE crime statistics, and think I’ll probably try to raise Penny Cate to be a “free-range kid” as much as I can. Overall, I give the book a B+.

Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer – You knew it was coming. My dear friend Kiki gave me the first book when she was down visiting over Memorial Day weekend, and as soon as I started I couldn’t put it down. Then I went to Borders and picked up the next one, read it in a day, and headed to Kroger that evening to pick up Eclipse. I now understand the phenomenon.

People like these books for different reasons, some because they are into vampires and werewolves, others because they are hormonal teenagers who enjoy reading about other hormonal teenagers kissing. And then there are those of us who can totally relate to falling in love with someone who is completely out of their league, and it just doesn’t make sense that that person is returning the affection. I’ve decided that’s why I dig these books so much. They remind me of the year that I dated Matt before we got married. The year that he was THE Matt Hofmann in my mind. The year before he started burping at the dinner table and leaving his dirty socks on the bedroom floor.

The books themselves really don’t deserve a rating of anything more than a C+, which is fine by me because in college I was more than happy with the C’s I earned – too busy socializing to attend class or study. If you are a person who enjoyed college for the same reasons and can appreciate things that are fun for the sake of being fun, you will enjoy the Twilight books. You’d probably also enjoy them if you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Also, Robert Pattinson is hot.

The Art of Dying: Living Fully into the Life to Come by Rob Moll - Yes. Really. I’m following Twilight with my brother in law’s new release. Because they couldn’t be more different.

I like this book, and not just because my brother in law slaved over it for the past few years. I just really like anyone who has the guts to talk about things that people, for the most part, are loathe to discuss. And death is one of those things.

At age 27, I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about my own death, although I have experienced plenty of loss in my lifetime. This book helped me process through some of that loss and also to consider how to daily live with my mortality in mind. I don’t really know what else to say other than that you should read it yourself. I give the book a B+, mainly because it’s Rob’s first book and he’s gotta have room to go up, right?

We Are Doomed: Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism by John Derbyshire - I’m only halfway through this book, but I can’t put it down. John Derbyshire cracks me the heck up. Matt asked my mom for this book for Christmas, and after reading it told me that I HAD to read it next. So I am. And I just bought it for my dad for Father’s Day because it’s just that funny. Plus Derbyshire quotes from Albion’s Seed which my dad loves.

Those of you who know me in real life know that I’m, for all intents and purposes, a Libertarian. But my biggest beef with Libertarian politics is the same beef I have with Liberal politics (and actually the current wave of Conservatism too!) and that is an unrealistic Utopian optimism. That mankind is just inherently good enough to improve life for others, or to live and let live. Nice in theory, but fails in practice.

John Derbyshire takes a very practical, yet humorous pessimistic stance and explains why he feels that’s the best approach, and furthermore why the Right should head back to its pessimistic roots. So much of what he says flips my brain upside down, and with his addition of humor the book is quite enjoyable to read. I very much would appreciate if one of my more open-minded liberal friends would read this book so that I could have someone on the other side of the table to bounce my thoughts off of. Anyone? Anyone? I give Derbyshire a solid A on this one.

I don’t have anything else lined up after We Are Doomed, other than to read the fourth Twilight book which I refuse to buy since it’s only out on hardcover. But frankly I’m hoping Penelope arrives before I get to that point bringing my reading to a screeching halt. Or at least exchanging adult books for the much more preferable Dr. Seuss.

Today I was interviewed by The Tennessean for an article that is coming out in Sunday’s paper on midwifery in Tennessee. How was I found, you wonder? Because I constantly open my big fat mouth and splurt about midwives all over the internets. For fun.

I am sooooo excited about this article (the second newspaper article I’ve been interviewed for… EVER!) because I really enjoy reading this health reporter’s columns as she’s very fair and balanced. And I think we could all use a bit more health reporting that is balanced. Something along the lines of OMG! SWINE FLU = THE APOCALYPSE!

Plus I love that she’s bringing attention to midwifery – a subject that sadly very few women know anything about. I know that I personally knew nothing about midwifery until I started doing my own research because it’s just not in the public eye.

At any rate, this is all falling on the week that we returned from a fun trip to the East Coast. Meaning I had no food in the house and the house was a mess. We had just finished painting the kitchen floor, so the kitchen was ripped apart. And the drywall for the upstairs gets delivered tomorrow morning with the crew right behind ready to start working. Tomorrow morning Matt has his board certification exam, which is just a tiny little bit important. Meaning if he passes he gets a nice fat raise. And the letters behind his name will now say “M.A.  B.C.B.A.”

Then we’ve got Matt’s climbing buddy coming in from Massachusetts on Saturday to go rock climbing for the weekend, and my mom arrives on Monday morning to hang out with me for a week. Which means I will frantically clean every nook and cranny of my house only to have her arrive and clean it all much better than I did the first time. And I will love and adore her for it.

And somewhere in there, I need to finish the nursery because the photographer from The Tennessean will be coming by to take a picture. Of me. At seven months pregnant and heavy enough to be a mean and competitive contestant on The Biggest Loser.

Strangely enough, all of this hectic activity is actually really good for me. I work best under tight deadlines, and frankly get a rush from anything that feels a little bit like a high school theatrical production.

But if I completely crash and forget to pick my mom up from the airport on Monday morning, can someone please tell her it was all because I opened my big fat mouth? She’ll roll her eyes and understand.

I know Earth Day was last Thursday, but I was busy destroying the earth by polluting it with gas and driving across the nation. Obama claims he’s going to expand the rail system, and as soon as he does, you better believe that I will be purchasing train tickets willy nilly and singlehandedly keeping Tennessee on the map.

Regardless of where you stand on global warming and whether or not zoos are immoral, I certainly hope we can all come together to understand the need we have as stewards of this earth to take better care of it. If there is one group of people I cannot even put on a fake smile and BS for five minutes, it’s those who are careless with our resources and do not have a healthy respect for the environment. If that’s you, take this as my steely glare in your general direction.

On a more positive note, I’ve been excited by some of the changes we’ve made in our lifestyle over the past year to become more environmentally friendly. We’ve introduced plant-based cleaning products to our life, reusable microfiber cloths, recycling more than ever before, and are about to enter the phase of our life which revolves around cloth diapering, glass bottling, and rockin some sweet hand-me-downs. I’ll also admit that we have instituted an “if it’s yellow, let it mellow” flush policy during the nights because I’m just going to the bathroom so daggone much. I’d like to think that our water usage has gone down because of it.

In a week and a half I’ll be picking up our very first box of CSA produce from a local farm here in Tennessee. We’re excited to be supporting local farmers but also to be trying new veggies that we probably have never eaten before. I’m sure you’ll hear more about the CSA when I’m reaching out to you for radish recipes. We also have plans to start composting, and will enjoy lowered fuel costs this summer as Matt will be riding  his motorcycle in the nice weather instead of driving.

I have some goals for the upcoming year to continue living on fewer natural resources, including using our AC less, lowering our heat in the winter, and trying to cook using fewer pots and pans and running my dishwasher less frequently. We’re also excited about continuing to find great local vendors to support instead of always heading to the big box retailers, and little changes like these can make a big difference.

What greener goals do you have? If we all made just one little change this year, I think the world would be a much better place.

One lesson I learned early on in marriage, and the thing I tell people whenever they (shockingly) ask me for marital advice is not to nag one’s husband. Matt is a typical stubborn Irish Mick, and will actually dig his heels in deeper if he gets the feeling he’s being nagged. Although he doesn’t pick up on passive-aggressive manipulative nagging too quickly, he doesn’t respond to it either. So all in all I’ve learned it’s better to just let him do his thing and be responsible for whatever positive or negative consequences might occur.

Perhaps this leaves me open to his sometimes ill behavior reflecting poorly on me, but I can deal with that. My grandmother is horrified that I don’t iron his dress shirts for him, so I’m used to letting people down.

On the other hand, I have found that when I simply ask Matt or remind him about tasks that are a given (like could he please take out the trash?), he hops right up and does them happily. It’s all about determining which things are worth arguing over and which things are not, and then making sure the things I really care about mutually transition into “givens.”

One thing I really cared about when I married Matt was the diligent writing of thankyou notes. Now, I was raised a proper New Englander and was taught to write thankyou notes at a young age. I’ve been writing them ever since, in fact my sisters and I continue to exchange thankyou notes and hostess gifts whenever we get together. (Although I must admit they are MUCH better at remembering and much prompter in the sending of said thankyou notes than I am.) Frankly, even after all these years of writing thankyou notes, I still really enjoy how relaxing it is to sit down with a box of cards and write out a note to a kind and generous person, despite my atrocious handwriting – the brunt of many a family joke.

Last week Matt sat down to write out the thankyou notes to his coworkers for the very generous shower gifts they gave him. He whipped them right up without a problem and was done in no time. Then this afternoon I reminded him that he still had birthday thankyou notes to write, so he hopped right up and went to my card basket to retrieve some blank cards and a pen.

“I think we’re out of cards.”

How can this be, I thought? My proper New Englander mother is constantly sending me cards that she finds on clearance (including those somewhat strange purple baby shower cards you might have received in the mail from me) to keep my card supply stocked, and perhaps to keep reminding me of the importance of being polite. In all my days of thankyou note writing, I’ve never been without a spare card.

“Ok, I’ll pick some up next time I’m out.”

I was struck not only by the generosity of our friends being too fast for my thankyou note supply to keep up, but also by how crestfallen Matt appeared at not being able to complete his task. It will hover over his head like a dark cloud until I have supplied him with some new cards.

Perhaps now when people ask my marital advice, instead of telling them not to nag their husband, I’ll tell them to marry a person who will quickly prioritize and care about the things that matter to you. The boy cares about thankyou notes because it matters to me. And that’s the quickest route to a nag-free relationship, methinks.

That and letting him buy a motorcyle. Oh Matt, n0t nagging, but just a reminder to up your life insurance policy.

I’m posing a question to you guys today because A) I’m still feeling a bit under the weather from this past weekend’s antics and B) I am taking a brief break from the caulking and the painting but I need to get back to work.

So I’ve recently been wondering how many moms feel their kids had the same level of energy after they arrived as they had in the womb? I’ve heard from 3 moms recently that they felt this gauge was spot-on – their active kids were kicking a lot in the womb, and their mellow kids were snoozing a lot in the womb.

What was it like for you? And do you think there’s something to that?

A few shoutouts to my new favorite people, Annie Reeder (my doula) and Gaylea McDougal (who co-taught our awesome childbirthing class with Annie), both with informative websites on your many childbirthing options.

And my sister, Clarissa, an almost-doula, has started a blog where she recently posts about various baby-wearing options. You don’t really have to be all into attachment parenting (I’m not… yet. Likely to change…) to be into baby-wearing. You can just be like me – someone who likes to keep it simple, Stupid, and not haul around a lot of useless baby gear. In the next few days she’ll be highlighting her recommendations for good carriers.

Now a little bit about doulas. Caution: I’m gonna get spiritual on you. Just pretend you’re listening to Oprah, and you won’t feel as wonky.

Matt and I went back and forth on whether or not we needed to use a doula because of how in tune with our desires my midwives seemed to be. Last week everything seemed to really come together remarkably. We had a wonderful appointment with the midwife who assured us that yes, I could push in whatever position I wanted, and try many positions! And yes! Matt can catch Penelope! And no! I don’t need to have an IV at all if everything is going fine. And yes! It’s totally cool for me to stay at home and labor there until it’s time to start pushing. And no! They won’t give me an episiotomy! And I can eat and drink to my little hearts delight throughout the whole process. In fact she was totally on board with our birth plan.

Last week we also decided to hire Awesome Annie to really make it possible for me to labor at home until the very last minute – we’ll have an experienced and knowledgeable doula there to make sure all is going well. On top of that, she goes to our church and will be able to help us achieve the one thing I really care about, and the only thing that I can control – to make sure that Penny’s arrival into the world is a worshipful experience, one where I am leaning on God for my strength and glorifying Him.

Matt and I were talking last night about just how at peace we feel with all of these decisions. I can truly say that I am facing my medical phobias head on with an amazing team of people, Matt, the midwives, Annie, and my Heavenly Father, who are going to support me emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and keep Penny’s health first and foremost in their mind. I have completely come to grips with the understanding that this will be a roller-coaster ride with lots of changes in course, but I feel totally equipped to handle it because of this awesome support team.

Now when I can’t sleep at night, I envision that awesome day when my daughter makes her arrival. I see myself in the quiet of my house focusing through contractions with Annie pushing on my back and Matt holding my hands, all of us meditating on the words of our Savior. And I’m no longer afraid.

And that’s why you want a doula…