Wow, what a week. It has been equal parts wonderful, equal parts hectic, and equal parts strange all mixed thoroughly and poured into a bundt pan that never releases a perfectly baked cake no matter how much you grease it. Yes, Matt’s birthday cake was destroyed when it finally finished baking last night at 11pm. And no, I am not at all bitter towards THAT PAN.

I never posted on his actual birthday because I was busy doing things with him that are not at all birthday-like whereby increasing the intense contractions of my guilt complex by T to the fifty-fourth. But I’m moving on, because I’m chalking it all up to being twenty-eight weeks pregnant and unable to shave my legs without an entire team of assistants.

This weekend he’s going to be at a motorcycle safety training course which means that he can then get his motorcycle license and buy a bike – his birthday gift. I’m guessing opening that Target bag with SIX HANES UNDERSHIRTS! on his birthday was almost as cool as buying a new cruiser. That’s what I told myself when I purchased them for him.

So for Matt’s thirtieth birthday, here are thirty things you didn’t know about my husband. I’ll try not to embarrass him too much, but isn’t that kinda the point of turning thirty?

1. He seems to have a strong opinion about illegal immigration according to a phone call I overheard last night, although I couldn’t really tell you what his opinion IS.
2. It bothers him to do any work (such as reading) close to his eyes without taking off his glasses first.
3. He then stores his glasses perched on his neck and just under his chin.
4. Or he loses them on the coffee table under magazines and the newspaper.
5. Losing his glasses doesn’t seem to bother him, but the new high-end scratch-resistant lenses really DO bother him because they smudge so easily. He wishes he hadn’t sprung for the expensive lenses.
6. While he enjoyed the television show “Flashforward” when it first came out, he told me last night in bed that “we’ll never watch that show ‘Flashforward’ again because it’s scary and I don’t want you to have nightmares.” Awfully kind of him, if you ask me.
7. He has nearly the complete discography of Miles Davis but rarely listens to it. When we sit down to read in the evenings, he inevitably puts on Bill Evans.
8. I always ask him to make the mac and cheese because he actually makes it according to the instructions on the box. I always leave out the butter. No wonder his is much better than mine.
9. Watching “Wipeout” stresses him out because the contestants let their butts hang down when climbing sideways on the rock wall. This is, apparently, not the best way to rock climb. Something about center of gravity.
10. Most Ben Stiller movies stress him out because absurd things keep happening to Ben Stiller over and over again and he just can’t catch a break. This is Matt’s worst nightmare.
11. The only juice he really likes is orange juice.
12. His favorite beer is Corona with a fresh lime slice. But he also loves a Harpoon UFO.
13. His favorite wine is Spanish Quarter Cab Sauvignon.
14. He probably hasn’t done a load of laundry since we got married. Likewise, I haven’t taken out the trash once.
15. He is extremely easy to feed. Nearly every day I make his lunch and pack it in his lunch bag for him. He takes it out of the fridge the next morning and has no idea what is in there until he eats it at lunch time. He has yet to complain about this system.
16. He gets really recalcitrant when his hair gets too long and hangs in his face. It’s been like that for about a week now.
17. He would collapse into a pile of anxiety if I ever purchased him a different anti-perspirant.
18. He wears a size 13 shoe, but a bit smaller in rock climbing shoes.
19. His favorite color is orange.
20. He prefers water-based frozen treats to milk-based frozen treats.
21. As soon as Berlin hears his key in the front door each evening, her tail starts wagging. He is her favorite person.
22. He wants to live in Colorado someday.
23. He prefers the NKJV translation of the Bible.
24. He plays a five-string bass because he loves “having that low D.”
25. He thinks John Mayer is a good guitarist and will be very embarrassed that I’m writing that here.
26. He has been known to sacrifice huge things for me.
27. He loves better than anyone I’ve ever met.
28. He will make the world’s greatest father – this coming from the girl who currently HAS the world’s greatest father.
29. He’s extremely ticklish and does NOT find it amusing when people try to tickle him.
30. He’s six feet, three inches of absolutely delicious yummitude, and I’m excited to bury my face into his chest for the next thirty years of his life… and more.

This basically wraps up the birthday celebrations for the week, although we still have lots of crumbled lemon poppyseed cake in Tupperware in the kitchen… and that giftcard to go out to dinner. Just think, next year we’ll need a babysitter for that dinner date.

I love you, and happy birthday, babe.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 26th, 2010 at 1:32 pm and is filed under Marriage, Stuff I Love, The Idiotic Things I Do. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.