Is Anybody Home?
Hello? Are you alive? Cause I am. Despite my radio silence.
Thanks to you, my great friends, who have filled my inbox with inquisitive emails, and my voicemail with loving messages (and in Ron’s case, hateful messages) over the past two months.
There’s no way to go about it but to tell the honest-to-gosh truth. And the truth is this: I went on vacation with my husband to Argentina for a week and a half. We had the time of our lives. I will post pictures to show you what a great time it was. Other than that, I had a miserable fall. My priorities were all out of whack, and the only way I could lift my spirits and/or feel any sort of goodness about myself was to consistently write large checks to non-profits to coerce my conscience into behaving. I’m sure the children in Burkino Faso were thrilled, but I was starting to settle into head space that I hadn’t visited since 2004. And I didn’t want to go there.
So last week I cried a lot. And then I quit my job. And now I am in the process of re-prioritizing my life.
I have successfully put my husband through graduate school, and now he is in the career of his dreams. We can live on his salary, and (plug your ears, feminists in the crowd) it feels really good to welcome him home after he’s worked a long day and know that he put the food on the table. I appreciate him all the more now that I have the time and energy to do so.
And because he loves me more than anyone else has ever loved me, he has challenged me to stop being a coward and start living the life that I dream of. A life where I tangibly touch the lives of people in need, and a life where I pursue things people always teased me about - like spending my days with animals, and winning a Grammy in audio engineering.
The people in my life that I respect think I’m totally insane for walking away from a career in the middle of the worst recession since the Great Depression. But I have nothing to lose, because my happiness was sold off a long time ago. And frankly, I have everything to gain.
So I’m in the process of figuring out what is the best way to share my talents and my energy with the world in need. I’m tossing around ideas like buying a business where people can come and create for art therapy. Or training seeing-eye dogs. Or recording music where the proceeds go to a terrific cause. Or blogging for charities. Or doing all of the above.
But you can rest assured that I’m bringing Verbal Intent back with a vigor. And I fully intend to be more honest, more real, and more me than ever before.
November 18th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
you’re BAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
big ma is so glad you’re back and emerging from the slough of despond. huzzah to you for determining to run your world like a woman and do something that actually makes a difference! big ma and crew back you all the way — which i guess places us outside the category of ‘people i respect the most’ … well, we all have things to work on
November 18th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Big Ma, I love you and respect you more than words can say. Thanks for the support.
November 18th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
you’ve always been a brave, smart lady, hoff, and this decision is no exception. its good to hear from you and also to know that you are walking your own path to happiness. bravo!
November 18th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
well, i know you deeply respect me, so i’m assuming that i slipped your mind when you were considering people who you respect who also do not approve. welcome to the world of the stay at home nothing! i hope you have as good a time in that role as i did! and on behalf of the american printing house for the blind, i would like to remind you that ’seeing eye’ is a brand; the term you are looking for is ‘guide dog.’ i am glad you’re blogging again because VI is the best blog on my google reader (which i would not have, but for you!)
November 19th, 2008 at 2:10 am
it’s about time you quit your job!! now you’ll have some time to focus on me and our floundering relationship.
ps. you know i think you’re amazing and anything you decide to touch will definitely turn to gold.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:53 am
gf… props.
i am sorry to hear that you’ve been unhappy, but i am thrilled to read that it’s gotten you to make some changes. i have no doubt in my heart that you’ll find whatever it is that you’re seeking.
and hugs and chocolate ice cream.
and lost on 1/21! w00t!
November 19th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Welcome back to the world of sanity, peace, joy, and homemaking pursuits that will surely put Martha to shame!!!! You have so much to give and so much to learn and do– I’m excited to see where God takes you next!
November 19th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
yay! welcome home!
November 21st, 2008 at 7:56 pm
i’m proud of you!! i’m all about gut-level decisions and taking a risk, and i can’t wait to see some recipes and homemaking tips, because lord knows i’m going to need some help in my own transition to being at home.
also, do you watch brothers and sisters? ‘cuz they just had an episode in which calista flockhart dealt with depression by writing huge donation checks for people in africa. hee.
November 22nd, 2008 at 2:31 pm
yes, i have to admit i have a strange weakness for that show and was totally relating to her. as for the homemaking tips, i am NO domestic goddess, but my toaster oven is enjoying a rebirth with new and unusual uses.
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:25 pm
I’m so glad you’re back. Love you, have missed you terribly, and can’t wait to see what’s in store for you.